When I started this blog, I vowed to be honest...completely honest. I've shared with you my weight-loss failures, set-backs , and my struggles with depression. So, when mulling over whether or not to share this post with everyone, I decided that if you already know that much, you might as well hear it all.
I have food issues. Now, by stating that I don't mean that I get up at night and eat out of the cupboards, consume tons of calories, and then return to bed. I actually don't eat after 9pm unless dinner has been severely delayed, and then I choose only to eat light. I mean, for some reason, I have trouble making good food choices. It's not about time or being hungry, it's just because I want it. I crave something and then I give in WAY TOO MUCH!
The other evening I was coming home from the grocery store with healthy veggies and meat and fruits, and still, after passing Burger King, I decided to turn around and go back to order to Jr. Whopper. Even as I was ordering, I knew it was bad. I knew that I didn't really want it, but something inside me was insisting that I really really wanted it; that I had to have it. After eating it, I felt horrible. Both for the diet and for my stomach. THat type of food makes me sick, for real. So why did I do it? I can't figure it out.
I've watched the shows like Biggest Loser and Losing it with Jillian and I hear them talk about food issues stemming from something missing in your life, or issues with family, or whatever. But I don't see those in myself. I don't think I eat to feel better, I know I don't feel better or proud of myself when I do it. I know what I want is to be healthier and feel great about working out and making strides, but for some reason I still do something that I know is the exact opposite of my goal. I'm not successful with a food journal because when I eat like this, I just don't write it down (kind of like, who besides me is going to know). It feels like I don't thing being accountable to me is enough, but it should be cause I'm doing this for me. What the hell?!
SO, I'm looking for suggestions. I keep telling myself that this is something I can handle on my own, that I just have to choose to make the right choices ... I've even talked to a therapist about this stuff ... and it does work...for like a week. I'm tired of trying to get myself motivated and keeping myself on track...but I'm so fed up at this point, I'm not going to let myself give up. I want to be healthier! I want to be fit by 30! I want to mow the lawn in a pair of shorts and sports bra and feel good about it!
It's almost like a need a monitor on me when I'm faced with a food choice. They make those alcohol monitors, like the one they gave Lohan, why can't they make a food one!!!? Anyone want to come live with me and monitor my every food move? Just kidding. I really want to be able to do this for myself. I want being accountable to me, enough motivation for me. I do notice that when I'm with someone else and faced with a food choice, I make the better choice. But, when I'm by myself I tend not to. I notice that I can "talk myself into" making a bad choice about three or four times a week. It really feels like there are two personalities going on inside this healthy quest; I'm just tired of the unfit one winning more than it should.
Any help? Any suggestions? I need you ladies.
Results: Workout outs are going great. Worked out 4 days last week for over and hour each time. THis week I've managed 3 days already!
Last week's weight: 219.2
I have food issues. Now, by stating that I don't mean that I get up at night and eat out of the cupboards, consume tons of calories, and then return to bed. I actually don't eat after 9pm unless dinner has been severely delayed, and then I choose only to eat light. I mean, for some reason, I have trouble making good food choices. It's not about time or being hungry, it's just because I want it. I crave something and then I give in WAY TOO MUCH!
The other evening I was coming home from the grocery store with healthy veggies and meat and fruits, and still, after passing Burger King, I decided to turn around and go back to order to Jr. Whopper. Even as I was ordering, I knew it was bad. I knew that I didn't really want it, but something inside me was insisting that I really really wanted it; that I had to have it. After eating it, I felt horrible. Both for the diet and for my stomach. THat type of food makes me sick, for real. So why did I do it? I can't figure it out.
I've watched the shows like Biggest Loser and Losing it with Jillian and I hear them talk about food issues stemming from something missing in your life, or issues with family, or whatever. But I don't see those in myself. I don't think I eat to feel better, I know I don't feel better or proud of myself when I do it. I know what I want is to be healthier and feel great about working out and making strides, but for some reason I still do something that I know is the exact opposite of my goal. I'm not successful with a food journal because when I eat like this, I just don't write it down (kind of like, who besides me is going to know). It feels like I don't thing being accountable to me is enough, but it should be cause I'm doing this for me. What the hell?!
SO, I'm looking for suggestions. I keep telling myself that this is something I can handle on my own, that I just have to choose to make the right choices ... I've even talked to a therapist about this stuff ... and it does work...for like a week. I'm tired of trying to get myself motivated and keeping myself on track...but I'm so fed up at this point, I'm not going to let myself give up. I want to be healthier! I want to be fit by 30! I want to mow the lawn in a pair of shorts and sports bra and feel good about it!
It's almost like a need a monitor on me when I'm faced with a food choice. They make those alcohol monitors, like the one they gave Lohan, why can't they make a food one!!!? Anyone want to come live with me and monitor my every food move? Just kidding. I really want to be able to do this for myself. I want being accountable to me, enough motivation for me. I do notice that when I'm with someone else and faced with a food choice, I make the better choice. But, when I'm by myself I tend not to. I notice that I can "talk myself into" making a bad choice about three or four times a week. It really feels like there are two personalities going on inside this healthy quest; I'm just tired of the unfit one winning more than it should.
Any help? Any suggestions? I need you ladies.
Results: Workout outs are going great. Worked out 4 days last week for over and hour each time. THis week I've managed 3 days already!
Last week's weight: 219.2
This week's weight: 221
Hey Meg - This is SO hard. I have this trouble, too, and I've had success in weight loss, but I still struggle sometimes with those "cravings". Maybe if you post some sticky notes in your car, and on your frig door, and on your pantry door, and some to take with you to the grocery - that say things that inspire you, like "SHORTS AND SPORTS BRA" or "NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS THIN FEELS" or "FIT BY 30" so that you can SEE those things when your temptations flare up? Just a thought. I know you say the food journal thing doesn't work, but if you VOW to be honest, as I have, sometimes it's not as bad as you think. I had a HORRIBLE day last year (yep, almost a whole year ago and I still remember it!) when I went to the Canfield Fair in Youngstown. I ate an Italian Sausage sandwich, french fries and an apple dumpling. YIKES. I was on Weight Watchers! I could have gone home and said, "ah, screw it" and not written it down. But I did. That splurge cost me 50 points - and it was the beginning of my week. I had 2 choices - decide to just forget it and start fresh next week - or work the whole week to make up for it. I took option 2. It sucked, because I had to be REALLY careful the rest of the week and exercise to make up for those spent points, but I LOST that week - not much, but a half of a pound. What if I had just blown that week because of that day? I would have gained, no question. My WW leader says, "If you trip down one step, do you throw yourself down the rest?" Think about these things - and be honest with yourself. You DO know when you ate those things, and YOU are the one that matters! Think about it. . . :) LOVE YOU and love your honesty. You rock.
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