Another week...

So this week was a little better with the food. I still made mistakes and slipped up a few times, but I feel like I did so less than the previous week...so progress. I made an effort to plan out my meals this week and make sure that I only pack my lunches and that's been going well, so I'm looking forwad to more progress next week.

On the workout front...that's going great! And I'm really really enjoying it. This week I've made sure to go to the gym every day (whether it's in the morning or night). My goal for next week is to up the intensity of my workouts and try to sneak in some short 20 min workouts during my lunch hour at work at least 3 days a week. I've been trying to keep my current workouts to an hour so that I don't get over zealous and do too much too soon (which has been a problem in the past). It seems to be going well and I'm always excited and looking forward to my gym time.

I'll be at my camp in New York (I volunteer at Birch Family Camp) in three and a half weeks and I've already started setting up healthy agendas for that week. I've mapped out a 1.5 mile jogging loop that I can do three days that week, and I've asked a friend to help keep me accountable by jogging with me (Thanks again, Jeff!!). When I'm not jogging, I'll be running around with 6-8 year olds so I'm sure that will substitute for other workouts. :D

Finally, in other news, my next 5K is in a week and half. I won't be running the entire thing, but I'm confident that my time will be much better than my last.

As always, thanks for following. This week I'm happy to report a loss...

Last week: 221 pounds

This week: 219.2 pounds

Just one more cheesburger, please!

When I started this blog, I vowed to be honest...completely honest. I've shared with you my weight-loss failures, set-backs , and my struggles with depression. So, when mulling over whether or not to share this post with everyone, I decided that if you already know that much, you might as well hear it all.

I have food issues. Now, by stating that I don't mean that I get up at night and eat out of the cupboards, consume tons of calories, and then return to bed. I actually don't eat after 9pm unless dinner has been severely delayed, and then I choose only to eat light. I mean, for some reason, I have trouble making good food choices. It's not about time or being hungry, it's just because I want it. I crave something and then I give in WAY TOO MUCH!

The other evening I was coming home from the grocery store with healthy veggies and meat and fruits, and still, after passing Burger King, I decided to turn around and go back to order to Jr. Whopper. Even as I was ordering, I knew it was bad. I knew that I didn't really want it, but something inside me was insisting that I really really wanted it; that I had to have it. After eating it, I felt horrible. Both for the diet and for my stomach. THat type of food makes me sick, for real. So why did I do it? I can't figure it out.

I've watched the shows like Biggest Loser and Losing it with Jillian and I hear them talk about food issues stemming from something missing in your life, or issues with family, or whatever. But I don't see those in myself. I don't think I eat to feel better, I know I don't feel better or proud of myself when I do it. I know what I want is to be healthier and feel great about working out and making strides, but for some reason I still do something that I know is the exact opposite of my goal. I'm not successful with a food journal because when I eat like this, I just don't write it down (kind of like, who besides me is going to know). It feels like I don't thing being accountable to me is enough, but it should be cause I'm doing this for me. What the hell?!

SO, I'm looking for suggestions. I keep telling myself that this is something I can handle on my own, that I just have to choose to make the right choices ... I've even talked to a therapist about this stuff ... and it does work...for like a week. I'm tired of trying to get myself motivated and keeping myself on track...but I'm so fed up at this point, I'm not going to let myself give up. I want to be healthier! I want to be fit by 30! I want to mow the lawn in a pair of shorts and sports bra and feel good about it!

It's almost like a need a monitor on me when I'm faced with a food choice. They make those alcohol monitors, like the one they gave Lohan, why can't they make a food one!!!? Anyone want to come live with me and monitor my every food move? Just kidding. I really want to be able to do this for myself. I want being accountable to me, enough motivation for me. I do notice that when I'm with someone else and faced with a food choice, I make the better choice. But, when I'm by myself I tend not to. I notice that I can "talk myself into" making a bad choice about three or four times a week. It really feels like there are two personalities going on inside this healthy quest; I'm just tired of the unfit one winning more than it should.

Any help? Any suggestions? I need you ladies.


Results: Workout outs are going great. Worked out 4 days last week for over and hour each time. THis week I've managed 3 days already!

Last week's weight: 219.2

This week's weight: 221

It's HOT outside!

Damn! With this heat outside, I'm really glad I decided to take swim lessons and start swimming laps! It's ridiculous out there! However, while mowing the yard this weekend, it did prompt me to make a life fitness goal for myself. This time next year, I want to be mowing the yard in shorts and a sports bra...no shirt...and not be self-conscious about it! That's my new HEAT goal!

So, this past week I've been working out everyday for an hour. Whether it's getting up in the morning and swimming laps, jogging, lifting weights, taking a fitness class, or doing yard work, I've been doing something active every day for at least an hour.

On the "If I Were A Fit Chick" fanpage, we've posted a summer challenge for all to participate (no matter what your fitness level is currently) and I would like to once again encourage you all to go check it out and post your goals (You might win a free t-shirt!). I met my first goal in the first day, which was to swim 20 laps, so I made two new goals for the challenge and posted them there as well. I vow to break the 200 lbs barrier , and to run a 5K without stopping by Labor Day. So, stay tuned to see if I make it. As an incentive, I've posted an unflattering profile picture of myself that will not be removed until I weigh in below 200 lbs....talk about motivation. Yikes!

When I weighed in this week, knowing that I had put in a lot of work, I was a little disappointed to see the exact same weight pop up on the scale. Being that the workouts are going great, it means one thing...food. Last week I started keeping a food journal and did great during the week and found that I was eating a lot healthier. However, with the holiday weekend and all the great food at my reach, I overate and failed to record what I consumed (mental blocking seems to keep me from writing down the bad food...hmmm). Anyway, this week I want to work on what I eat and keeping myself accountable. I don't know if the food journal is for me, but I'm going to keep trying and see what happens. At least for now I feel great about the workouts and love the progress I'm making both on the treadmill and in the water.

Stay tuned folks...let's see what this heat can melt off me!

Last week weigh-in: 219.2
This week weigh-in: 219.2

NO MOVEMENT